Merit Badges, Dive Bars, and Parades

I'll start with the journalling part of the blog - last night I went to a parade with some friends and their son. Usually, I despise parades, do not like the idea of facepaint, and screaming children make me want to stick something sharp and weighted into my eye to distract me from the irritation that they bring with pain, even if only for a moment. However - last night was fun, it was different, and I had a really fun time playing swords with sticks in the yard with my little buddy after we got back to their place.

Perhaps I'm growing up.

I'm going out to Halek's tonight again, my favorite dive bar that is always my back-up on Fridays when I don't have other plans. Usually I can rope a friend or two into joining me. I love Halek's for all sorts of reasons, but mostly because I'm cheap and insecure. What I have found is that Halek's mixes its drinks stronger that an average gay bar, and the old dudes in the bar are lonely and will happily shell out for a few drinks for you for a little company, which is a win-win situation for everyone. Jeff, the bartender, recognizes me when I come in the door and I've made a few other random scattered acquaintances. I have to say that I really love the fact that on a Friday night, it isn't packed, and there are free appetizers during happy hour. Paired with strong, cheap drinks, and a host of interesting elders willing to buy them for me, (oh, and the fact that its the only bar in North Minneapolis that I really want to go to) and it is a recipe for all sorts of delightful disaster. Usually resulting in my spouse having to pick me up and bring me home... as I am unable to do it myself. The bar has been open since the 1940s, and used to be very popular. It seems to be just barely hanging on right now, so I feel I should do my civic duty to preserve part of history by drinking as much as I can there, and trying to get friends to do likewise.

Yup, I'm definitely growing up. That is very responsible and considerate of me to be thinking of supporting my community.

Finally, I had a genius idea this morning. Merit badges. I want merit badges surrounding where I work. I want matching uniforms for the cool co-workers that I have, and special merit badges that we can earn. Some ideas that I have for badges are:

- have been here long enough to feel mildly superior to annoying front desk temps merit badge
- have received a nickname from the Chief Operating Officer merit badge
- have held at least two different positions within the company merit badge
- have left and come back to work here again merit badge (I know two people for sure that could have this)
- have seen (or been drunk-texted by) at least 5 co-workers drunk merit badge
- has had creepy mailroom guy go out of his way to help you merit badge
- has successfully negotiated a raise merit badge
- have gotten the executive director to get your initials engraved on something for you
- have composed and written about 3/4 of a musical based on your workplace (my favorite song from this has to do with our scary elevators that are going to give out at any second. The song "elevator of doom" has just finished and our leading lady is dangling by the last thread. our hero, the goofy custodian, saves her, using nothing but his razor-sharp wit and his suspenders. At this point, the elevator crashes to the ground while they remain safely aloft. They then sing the love song "suspended in love." Its touching, really.)

There will be more, many more. But so far I'm mostly looking into merit badges I could already have won for one reason or another. And so far, I could actually have all of the above. That's a lot of merit badges.

Ok - I haven't grown up at all.